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10/9/05

Why Fast Food isn't Fast

Ok, this really pisses me off! You go to get some fast food right? yeah sure, fast. Anyway, you're hungry. You go in and there is a long line, but you decide to stay anyway because you are HUNGRY. It can't take long. You wait for like 10 minutes in line while some idiot gets to the register, orders, then has to dig in their purse or pocket for EXACT change.

They will count out pennies, nickels, dimes, then back into the purse or pocket for even more change until they have it just right! What are you trying to do? Convince us you know how to count? We already have the problem of the guy or girl working behind the counter that has to have a cash register with pictures on it instead of numbers so they can understand it. We already have someone who couldn't get an order right or hear your order the first time so you have to repeat it. Then we have MR/S EXACT CHANGE!

Then to top it off, you are almost to the counter when another familiar figure gets to the front. They have been in line for ten minutes, the dummy behind the counter says sweetly, "May I help you?". The person in line then looks up at the menu as if seeing it for the very first time! "Ummmmm . . . Let me see . . . What do you want honey? . . . Give me a minute to make up my mind . . . Ok, we'll have . . . no wait . . . that looks good . . . how much is that?" "It's written on the menu, sir" "Oh yeah, now I see it. Can I have that with no pickles?" "Yes". "Ok then I want it with no catchup, no lettuce, and lots of pickles, heh heh, changed my mind on those pickles" Then they read the order back to the customer and it starts all over again.

If those two weren't enough, we now have the guy right in front of suddenly turn from a pimply faced geek into Don Juan right before our very eyes. He's sees the pimply plump girl behind the counter and goes into his "suave" mode. "Hi there, Honey . . . You sure look nice today" "Thank you, can I take your order please?" "Oh sure honey, I'll have a hot waitress on toast to go with nothing on it" "Giggle" " . . . you get the picture. It's just too ugly from here and only gets worse.

If a person ever gets killed in a fast food line because of this behavior, I will not be surprised in the least. You could use the "Extreme Hunger" defense and of course claim you were just cleaning up the gene pool.

This one was for my favorite, loyal reader, Chuck, who told me I talk too much about Curious George the President.

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